Funny Accounting Jokes

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    Iheonu Nkechi Gloria 2 years ago
    1. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!
    2. Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
    3. What’s grey and not there? An accountant on vacation.
    4. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures.
    5. Be audit you can be.
    6. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
    7. What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
    8. A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
      “Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
      “Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
      “Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
      “No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”
    9. Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined? For buttering up her clients.
    10. Why don’t accountants read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
    11. It’s accrual world.
    12. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.
    13. Did you hear about the fraudulent Irish Finance Director? He burned his office down trying to cook the books.
    14. What’s an accountant’s favourite book? 50 Shades of Grey.
    15. What music is played at a financial accountant’s funeral? The Last Post.
    16. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.
    17. Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting.
    18. Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? She charges an arm and a leg.
    19. Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No. Me neither.

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